WHAT'S IT GONNA TAKE, GUYS?!?!

At work, I sit in front of a big window. An aquarium window. I’m the fish. As grateful as I am for this opportunity to watch the weather, there is a major downside to this seating arrangement that breaks my little heart at least once every other day.
The kamikaze birds.
On a typical day, I will be sitting at my desk, working on my computer, stopping every so often to look upon the outside world and smile, then go back to my computer screen and check on accounts and write emails and answer the phone and WHACK!!! I look up just in time to see a fresh smudge against the aquarium glass and a lifeless bird fall from the window into the landscaping on the front lawn. Then my heart sinks and I jump up and run over to the window, look down, and see a gasping bird with its neck bent at an unnatural angle, wings spread wide against the dirt, eyes darting back and forth for about 5 minutes, until it slowly dies.
It just kills me. I know it’s because of the dark window tint that the birds see a reflection of the sky and trees, but what can I do about it? I’ve tried closing the blinds, thinking that might cut the glare, but then I sit in darkness and hear the thud, which is even creepier.
It’s just that birds are so trendy right now. They symbolize freedom. They can fly as high as they want, anywhere they want, so why do they keep flying into my aquarium window? Lord, make it stop!
I don’t want to have to watch them die anymore. I don’t want to scoop their little carcasses off the walkway on my way in to work every morning. I don’t want to notice the absence of said carcass the next day, and know for sure that some evil cat has come along and devoured the pour little thing.
On the bright side, not every bird dies. I can generally tell by the loudness of the sound it made upon impact coupled with my rough estimation on body size whether or not it will survive. Some birds are just stunned for a good ten minutes and lay on the ground regaining their composure before standing, and then flying away. Some birds make it out alive, but will never fly again. So tragic. My life.

For another story by another Boatwright on saving birds, go here. She's cooler than me.