forgiveness

I have another 8-pager due in, oh, 6 hours. Haven't done much on it.
But the cool thing is that I get to write it on this song.




It should flow allright, I guess.

deal with it

I had just ordered my vanilla steamer at the Roasterie and stood smiling and waiting for the kind barista to finish up decorating my drink with pretty swirls of caramel. I thanked him, took my cup, and reached for a lid. Then I stopped and thought for a second about how I really didn't need a lid because I would probably drink the steamer pretty fast and I would want it to cool off anyway. Plus I heard Sean Berger's voice in my head preaching against useless trash. So I walked back to my little table where I had just set up my laptop and sat down my cup.
Then I proceeded to knock over my cup and spill hot sweet milk all over the laptop, textbooks, table, chair, power cord, and floor.

Ridiculous.

So then I'm faced with the question of how to react to this situation. My options were:
1) freak out, show my embarrassement, cry over the possibly dead computer, clean up the mess by myself, grab my stuff, and run away, or,
2) deal with it.

I chose option 2. I turned my computer on its side to let the milk run off and shut out the stares of the civilized around me. A sweet girl sitting nearby happened to be an employee off duty and grabbed me some towels. I clean up other people's messes for a living, so I made quick work of it. Then another employee rolled up with a mop bucket and I let him help me. When my helpers exclaimed over the shame of the computer and asked me if it was broken, I replied "I guess I'll find out soon enough." The manager walked up and asked if it was their fault and I actually laughed, because it could not have been more of my own clumsiness.

After righting the scene, I sat back down and worked on drying off my keyboard. There seemed to be no permanent damage and I started working. Then the friendly mopper guy walked over to my table with a new drink for me. I smiled when he pointed out that this one had a lid on it.


I stuck around for a long while doing my work and pretty soon all the people who had seen my disgrace left and new ones came who thought I was just a normal, coordinated individual. And then I ran into a friend and had a nice chat, which I would have missed if I had left.

So here's to analyzing possible emotions before feeling them. I'm going to try to do it more often, because there is really no use in crying over spilled milk.

silly little ones

Danielle: "We're gonna beat the crap out of them"
Jennifer: "Dani, turn the other cheek."
Danielle: "All four?"
.....................................................................................

Danielle: "Craig, you're hairy and gross."
Me: "Dani, speak the truth in love."
Danielle: "You're hairy and gross and I like it?"

.....................................................................................

Ryon, frowning at how I arranged food items on a tray I handed him for his customer:
"I'm not liking the feng shui on this tray"

.....................................................................................

Jennifer, with furrowed brows eyeing Sharea's waist-length brown hair:
"I'm gonna chop off your hair in your sleep."

.....................................................................................

Me: "Good job, Craig! High five!"
Craig: "Don't ever touch me again."

.....................................................................................

Ryon screams, invisibly sweeping behind a huge refrigerator:
"SPIDER!!"

Today I:

• Went grocery shopping at 7.30 am
• Found $22 and my school ID in an obscure pocket of my backpack
• Cut my own hair
• Listened to an old Isaac pep-talk

and

• absorbed a shockwave of school-panic when I walked in to class and realized I had completely. completely. forgotten about a psychology test.

rich mullins

therapy

fly away home

I am flying high today.

I used to be the kind of person who was in an everlasting good mood and always had cheer to spread around for no particular reason except that all was right in my world and nothing was hard. And then I had to grow up when life cut me down a couple of times and I learned that it actually takes hard work to be happy in this world and I have to go out looking for joy because it doesn't bounce in to wake me up every morning anymore.

So I do go out and search for joy and try to capture it and bring it near to me so I can drink it in and sprinkle it around my little space in life to make good things grow. Most days it works allright. But some days I fail.

Today, however, I feel like a happy little girl again because tonight a plane will deliver me to my family for a perfectly delightful weekend. I'm going to hug my mother and kiss my father and take my little brother out on a date and talk late with my sister. And I will feel safe and I won't have to take care of myself for just a little while because other people will take care of me.

john 16:33

Yesterday I visited my friend Becky at the school where she teaches in the inner city of KCK. I sat in on her 4th grade classes and watched her teach reading through current events. And then I watched the ten-year-olds learn what the word "terrorism" means.

It's a sad world, little ones.

"But take heart, I have overcome the world."

What I learned at school today

Anyone can say anything--absolutely anything--and get away with it. As long as they pick the right words.

What I learned at school today

Hearing is different than listening.
Listening is different than knowing.

Knowing is different than understanding.

-AND-

Anything can only be defined by what it is not.

apple bottle means

My roommate, Sharon (in the middle down below), swears by apple cider vinegar as the elixir of life.


"Have you ever googled this stuff?! It's so good for you!"

Apparently if I take three shots of apple cider vinegar every day, my hair will be stronger, my skin will be clearer, I will never get sick, I will sleep better, live a long life, and the sun will shine on me every day.

Ya'll...this stuff is rank.

I'm serious. Imagine drinking straight vinegar, plus fermented apples. And it's fizzy. When you drink it, there is a compulsory full-body shudder that must happen as it pours down your throat and you have to chase it will a full glass of water and a bite of chocolate cake to return your taste buds to their original state.

For some reason, early yesterday morning I decided to subject myself to this vicious health treatment. In the darkness of the pre-dawn, standing pajama-clad in my kitchen, I poured a generous dose into a glass, held my breath, pinched my nose, and gulped it down.

PROBLEM: empty stomach, yo! Bad idea!
It burned. Then the fizziness bubbled up in my belly and I burped up old fruit all the way to work.

THE END

currently listening to Mutemath

just a little revelation

Yesterday God told me that instead of trying to figure Him out so that I can love Him more, I should try loving Him more, and then I might figure Him out.