apple bottle means

My roommate, Sharon (in the middle down below), swears by apple cider vinegar as the elixir of life.


"Have you ever googled this stuff?! It's so good for you!"

Apparently if I take three shots of apple cider vinegar every day, my hair will be stronger, my skin will be clearer, I will never get sick, I will sleep better, live a long life, and the sun will shine on me every day.

Ya'll...this stuff is rank.

I'm serious. Imagine drinking straight vinegar, plus fermented apples. And it's fizzy. When you drink it, there is a compulsory full-body shudder that must happen as it pours down your throat and you have to chase it will a full glass of water and a bite of chocolate cake to return your taste buds to their original state.

For some reason, early yesterday morning I decided to subject myself to this vicious health treatment. In the darkness of the pre-dawn, standing pajama-clad in my kitchen, I poured a generous dose into a glass, held my breath, pinched my nose, and gulped it down.

PROBLEM: empty stomach, yo! Bad idea!
It burned. Then the fizziness bubbled up in my belly and I burped up old fruit all the way to work.

THE END

currently listening to Mutemath