I just need you all to understand one thing:

Something wonderful has happened. There are two individuals in this world who have reached a crux in their aging process and now look EXACTLY THE SAME! Those two people are:

My Uncle Bob                                                              Jerry Seinfeld

My dear Uncle Bob and Jerry Seinfeld.  I'm so excited about this.
I should tell you a little bit about my Uncle Bob (since you all know about Jerry Seinfeld). Uncle Bob has a Ph.D. in Fisheries and Allied Aquaculture, which makes him a fish doctor. Who knew that fish had their own doctors?
Uncle Bob likes to doll out fish facts on Facebook. Ask him anything, he'll know!
Hey Uncle Bob, is it true that fish swim differently during a full moon?

I distinctly remember going on a walk with him once when I was eight years old. I couldn't figure out why he was so far ahead of me, so I tried to take exactly the same number of steps as he did so I could keep up. The problem was that his legs were twice as long as my height back then.  He is married to my Aunt Bev, the synchronized ice-skater. As you can imagine, these two are quite the pair.
Their daughter, Allyson, is 3 days older than me. We thought this was so cool and, for the majority of our childhood, fancied that it legitimatized us as twins. But then, by the same mysterious powers that Uncle Bob and Jerry Seinfeld ended up looking the same, Allyson and I ended up looking dramatically un-twin-like.

Such is life.