Goodnight, Kansas City

At the end of today, I won't live in Kansas City anymore.
After my second bout with tears last night, Tim asked me how my heart was feeling. I thought about it for a second and told him it felt like scrambled eggs; all stirred up and half baked.
As excited as I am to start a new life in Chicago with my fiancee, it's going to be hard as all get out to drive away from this place.
I moved to Kansas City alone when I was 19. I wanted independence so bad I couldn't think straight. Being on my own in a new place made me feel like I was fully alive.

It was January and I came from Florida. I didn't even know how to drive in snow, but I figured it out the hard way--along with a lot of other things--and I've been making my own way here for four and a half years. That's 6 months shy of the longest stretch I've ever lived in one place for my whole life.

But now I want to be in a family again and I'm smitten by a good man who wants to love me till we're old, and that deal is too good to pass up...even though it means leaving my sweet little city.

photo cred: The Parsons Photographers

Yesterday I quit my job, said goodbye to my friends, and we packed my car. If we leave soon, we should be in Chicago by dinner time, and then I'll keep myself as busy as possible so I don't get sad.

this is what we do:

• skype every waking minute
• match our clothes without meaning to
• he taunts me with my wedding band

Long distance engagement ends in four days.

My Dream Wedding

But we can't and won't do it this way. Tim and I need our families too much to start our married life without them there with us. I just really hope we can keep the simplicity, joy, meaning, intimacy, and spontaneity evident in this video.  It's going to be unconventional, that's for sure. Stay tuned to find out how it unfolds.

He asked me to marry him

Saying yes was the easiest thing I've ever done.

Don't blink or you'll miss us being engaged. We're getting this deal done quick.

Seriously.

Do you see this precious peanut? I've been crushing on him for the last 4 weeks of his life...the only 4 weeks of his life.

I don't know what it is about tiny little newborns, but they just help my brain.
These last two weeks have been full of extreme emotional circumstances and hard conversations, and whenever I feel like I'm going to lose all capacity to create brain waves, I text my newly un-pregnant friend Alissa and ask if I can come rockabye her baby.
This is usually a mutually beneficial arrangement.
I then sway this little guy to sleep and stare at his face like you do the ocean. After an hour or so, I realize I can think straight again. I hope some therapist reads this and later gives me a high five for finding such a healthy coping mechanism.

Yes, that is a stress break-out starting on my chin.
Also; aren't babies the best accessory? I love wearing babies.

Venice

I took Frenchman home to meet my parents last weekend. That town is so bright and sleepy.

My Frenchman and I

This is my Frenchman. 

I met him about 6 months ago (I'll tell you how sometime and you probably won't believe me) and we've been having the most fun together ever since. 

He lives in Chicago and I live in Kansas City, so we spend most of our time together on the phone or picking each other up from the airport. We have a remarkably similar childhood experience and Meyers-Briggs personality type. Sometimes we go on fancy dates, and other times we end up at the grocery store buying ingredients to cook because all our plans fell through. I like both about the same.

He thinks I'm the prettiest girl in the world. 

I keep asking him if he really exists.

We start and end our conversations in French, but usually speak English in the middle. 

My Frenchman gets his joy from knowing that God loves him. He doesn't worry about too many things. He absentmindedly chews on the collar of his t-shirt when he's watching a movie or editing pictures, and I think it's cute. 

He also keeps his beard longer than he prefers because he knows I think it's cute.

Sometimes he makes me laugh so hard I can't breathe. He usually plays his piano for me and we sing together.

I think he's the most talented photographer I've ever known.

I'm moving to Chicago next month, and I'm doing it for love.