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Monday, April 20, 2009

not lost

I announced to my parents that I was moving to Kansas City by myself a week before Christmas, 2006. That year, my mom gave me a pair of diamond earrings right before I left, which made me feel a little more like the grown-up I was trying to be.

This morning I dug through my jewelry box and found them. Standing in front of my dresser, guided by the mirror, I put one in my ear. Then promptly dropped the other one. I never saw it hit the floor.
This earring isn't big, by any means. But it's the most extravagant thing I own, and my mom gave it to me. I really needed to find it, and I really had no idea where it was. I bent down on the floor to search for it, and instead found a thick layer of dust and clutter. This is gross. My diamond earring is somewhere in this dirty mess.
And then it suddenly hit me that I was kind of like that earring and God was kind of like its owner, pursuing and crawling through a lot of crud, trying to get to me and wipe me clean and restore me to a safe place where I can shine.
That was a sweet little revelation, but I still couldn't find my earring. It was not under my dresser, or under my bed. Not anywhere.
Jesus, where'd it go?! How do I find it?
Then I heard him quote a line from one of his stories in my head "When a woman has ten coins and loses one, does she not light a lamp and sweep the floor until she finds it?" (Luke 15:8)
So I turned the light on and got the broom. I moved the bed, nothing. Moved the dresser, nothing but dust and hair and trash that I swept up and threw away.
What's the deal. I swept. Can't find it. Do you just not want me to have it anymore? Mom's gonna kill me.
And then I looked down at my dresser, saw that one of the drawers was open a tiny bit, opened it all the way, and found my earring resting on top of a pair of jeans.

I smiled to myself and as I matched one ear to the other, I heard Jon singing one of his songs in my head:

You've searched the whole earth to tell me what I'm worth
To tell me what I'm worth to you
You say that I am a diamond in your hand
A diamond in your hand for you

Lord I am blown away that you would even speak my name
To tell me I'm the treasure of your heart
After all the things I've done to you
Coming close and then pulling away from you
You've proved just what a faithful God you are

Thank you Jesus for your faithfulness
Thank you Jesus for your love