I am thoroughly pre-matriculated

I just spent 30 minutes on the phone with UMKC. I am re-admitted for the fall semester, but the website won't let me sign up for the classes I want. I started with the admissions office, then got transferred to registrar's office, then back to admissions, then to another person within admissions, then back to registration only to find out that my student admission status is in"pre-matriculation". Hearing that word was the best part of the whole experience, because I didn't know what it meant. I love learning new words. I quickly hung up the phone and googled pre-matriculation. It turns out it's just a fancy word for "limbo" or "in process". It's going to happen but hasn't happened yet.

{insert wallowing soliloquy about how this is an accurate word to describe my whole life, with a well rounded conclusion on the benefits of being present and engaged in every season}

The end.

Here's a picture that makes me happy to be in Kansas City. I love that star.

"Sometimes it bums me out that I'll never get to see my own guts."

That's what he said. John Mayer. On twitter.

Well guys, I kind of did. A little bit. In my kitchen on a Sunday. If you don't think that blood and guts is cool, just stop reading.

The standard dilemma in avocado consumption is how to get the pit out without wasting any of the wonderfully rich green goodness. My answer to said standard dilemma is to use a sharp little knife for the stab, twist, and flick method. This time, I stabbed a little too hard and the tip of the knife glazed over the pit and straight into my hand. It hurt. I gasped, dropped the avocado, and prepared myself to see much blood spurting out of my wound.

But instead, a soft pillow of white fluffy stuff popped out. I was so confused. When I looked closer, I realized that it was fat. Fat was bulging out of the palm of my hand. I laughed. I actually had to maneuver my skin around to get the stuff back into the cut before bandaging it. It barely bled at all.

Isn't that weird?

(in)cohesive

• It's Saturday. I slept late and ate cookies and watermelon for breakfast.
• I think I saw an accurate picture of motherhood here at the coffeehouse about an hour ago. A beautiful woman sat down with her beautiful daughter, who giggled all the way through her cupcake and pink Jones soda. She told her mommy that she loved her and they laughed together. Then when it was time to leave, the little girl let loose with other-wordly screams that reverberated off the concrete floor and walls and made everyone in the establishment either turn their eyes to the poor mother or try very hard to refrain from doing so for the sake of her dignity. The beautiful woman calmly gathered her shrieking child and the various purses and diaper bags they required and walked out of the shop without steeling herself or lashing out at her daughter. I was impressed.
• I am signing up for a medical terminology class in the fall. Awesome or terrible? What do you think?
• It has come to my attention that I spend about 71% of my day comparing myself to other people, and the rest of the time sleeping. This is a problem because it makes me a very self-centered and insecure person. When I figure out how to stop, I'll let you know.
• This is the question I have right now:
  
• I'll figure it out eventually.
• I'm not going home tonight without a new set of sheets to sleep on.

Alex & Ashley: engaged

I met Alex about four years ago when he started working at the Chick-fil-A I was managing. We were both 19 years old. We became fast friends and he never ceased to amuse me, or anyone else around us with his ridiculous humor and terrible but heartfelt love songs that he would sing--constantly--while breading chicken. We had several classes together at UMKC and he would irritate me to no end by making better grades on tests than me when I never missed a class and he failed to show over half the time.
Alex is one of the kindest people I have ever met.
My favorite memory of him is a toss up between the time he took a high school co-worker to prom after her boyfriend bailed on her, and the time he arrived at work with a variety of allergy medecines for me as I suffered through my first allergen-laden mid-west Spring. He's a winner.

Well, Alex met Ashley last year and he was perfectly smitten. I was smitten when I met her too, actually. This girl has a smile that takes over her face and any room she happens to be in, and she loves to have fun almost as much as Alex does. They're perfect for each other.

Last Sunday, Ashley asked me to take some pictures of her and Alex, which worked out pretty well because Alex had already asked me to help him propose to Ashley that same day. Pulling off this proposal was a little complicated because--ever the showman--Alex wanted to make sure it was perfect and included live music (courtesy of his talented roommate) and a balloon drop. Also, it had to happen outside--with an 85% chance of thunderstorms--at sunset. Luckily, Alex asked all the right people and he asked us nicely.

The proposal went off without a hitch, and afterwards we all toasted champagne and ate pizza. It was so fun to be part of their special day and capture the memories.
Here's the story:

Porn kills

"After all, a series of news reports have highlighted, in scandalous detail, how some financial regulators earning six-figure salaries were watching porn at work as Wall Street imploded. So, as it turns out, did employees of the National Science Foundation and the Interior Department--including those were were supposed to be inspecting oil platforms in the Gulf of Mexico."

Declan McCullagh, House Votes to Block Net Porn on Government PC's

a handsome brother, a wedding kiss, and an elderly engagement

Hello to all. It's a friday night, and I'm at my local Americano-maker. I'm averaging about two a day this week. I wonder if the inside of my stomach is stained black yet. I'm not sure why I thought of that just now. Gross.
I had a great time in Florida over the weekend. True, it rained every day I was there, but no matter. I've been to the beach before, and I'll be there again. There were a few highlights. I'm sure you're dying to know what they are.

• Ben Boatwright. I got some quality hang out time with the brother. Whenever I fly home, he's my resident chauffeur. I just tell him where I want to go, smile sweetly at his eye roll, tell him how much I love him, and buy him food at a local drive-thru to keep him inspired to keep driving me around. I really miss this guy when I'm in Kansas City. Every time I see him, he gets more handsome. I mean, look at him! All you high school girls out there: he's 5'8, 200 lbs, and taking numbers. But you better be classy. I mean it.

• I got to attend my dear old friend Joyia's wedding. Joyia and I worked at Chick-fil-A together for forever, forever ago. The last time I got coffee with her was about this time last year, and she was all "I just started dating this guy and he's nice and all but I'm really not sure and I think I want to move to Alabama and I just don't know..." Next thing I know, she's madly in love with a diamond on her finger, planning a beautiful wedding. Props to the groom for executing one of the best wedding kiss dips I've seen. He went even lower than depicted here. Great form. Well done.
  

• Right after the wedding, I ran home because my parents were hosting a 4th of July party at our house. This shindig started small and quickly ballooned to a guestlist that may have exceeded 60 people from my parent's church. I walked into our house and immediately wanted to crawl into my introvert hermit shell and hide there for the remainder of the evening. I didn't know any of these people! And they all knew me! I panicked. I felt like a pastor's kid again for the first time in 5 years. I didn't know what to do. I searched for Mom, she was laughing with her friends. I searched for Dad, he was laughing with his friends. I searched for brother, he was manning the grill. Then I decided to chill out and get to know these nice people. Halfway through the evening, Dad made everyone be quiet because he said someone had an announcement to make. Then old Bobby Lee declared his love for Marilynn, and asked her to be his wife. Right there in the kitchen! It was so cute. Just look at these snow-bird-love-birds. Precious.

Well, that's all. I think I'll go get a life now. Cheers.

"Independence and self-sufficiency really just doesn't cut it if we're going to talk about biblical humility"

--my dad, preachin'.

Yesterday fouled

But that doesn't matter today because I am flying to Florida in 5 hours to be with my family for the 4th of July weekend, and I spent my bad day's evening doing this:

photo credit: Amy freaking Guerreri

Proof that sometimes I am amused by feline affection...but mostly just that I really love Amy and she really loves her Sam. Plus she gave me wine. And he kissed me first.

Later, Kansas City. I'll be back Monday night.